PERSONAL THOUGHTS AND A $1000 RAFFLECOPTER GIVEAWAY

Personal Thoughts and A $1000 Rafflecopter Giveaway
Hi! How are you all? If things weren’t heavy enough from one of my last posts here, they sure escalated real fast! I lost my dad May 30th, on my parent’s sixty-first wedding anniversary. We were all by his side and will spare you the details, but it was not the way you want to see your loved one leave this earth. A friend told me that what we are seeing is probably not what they are experiencing. I am clinging to that! As horrible as it is to lose my dad, I am so relieved that he is out of misery and no longer suffering.
Of course, that was also the day the protests and rioting started in Dallas and around the country. We were already so sad, but that made it an even more tragic day. I am so upset that my dad will not get the funeral he deserves right now.
So, about the protests and the riots.
I did not post last week because of my dad but also because I didn’t think it felt right to do so with the state of the country. I haven’t felt right about posting since COVID-19 started. There is so much heartache right now, and for me to send out a post of an outfit seems somewhat insensitive, I think, but it is what I do.
Back to what’s going on… I do understand why our black communities are outraged. I would be so angry, too, if the tables were turned, and it is not right how they are treated. We are all made from God’s image, so racism should not exist. I know that I have had white privilege my whole life. And I very much see that now. I just hadn’t examined it. I was just living my life and taking care of my family. My eyes are OPENED!
I have heard a lot of white people say that they feel guilty for being white.
I had that thought myself, but then I started thinking that I shouldn’t feel that way. God created me in my mother’s womb to be precisely the person I am, who happens to be white. I honestly think that my black friends would say that it is ridiculous to feel that way too. The whole situation is a wake-up call for all of us. We need to be more sympathetic and empathetic to what our black friends have gone through. One of my best black friends told me that she used to get pulled over all the time by the police for being black. That is wrong! We are all part of the body of Christ, and not one of us is more important because of the color of our skin, what our bodies look like, or whether we have green hair.
Now, about the police? Here are my thoughts on that.
We 100% need the police, and to defund them is crazy to me. They protect us and keep us safe (most of the time). Are there corrupt cops? Absolutely! Are there good cops? Yes! We live in a fallen world, and there is evil everywhere. There are bad clergy, doctors, lawyers, and politicians (most of them!), but that doesn’t mean the whole lot is corrupt.
I do agree that the police system (whatever that is) needs to be re-evaluated, so this doesn’t keep happening.
I’m not sure how you all feel, but I am guessing most of you will feel the same way. I had posted a picture of me and a friend of mine who is like a daughter to me (and she is black) on Instagram last week and got slammed by a few younger women on the post and slammed by two older women who direct messaged me. When you put yourself out there as I have, people think they can say anything to you, even if it’s hateful.
I don’t know who these women are, personally, and I know I should let it roll off my back like water off a duck, but damn, it hurts my feelings. And I don’t want that energy in my life. I’ve had my share of health problems and am too old to deal with those kinds of people. I can only be responsible for me. And I want to show love to the world.
I am going to try to get back to business as usual, but I would love to hear your thoughts. I started this blog to be an inspiration for women over fifty, to show fashion, beauty,(some breast cancer talk), and lifestyle. The main goal is for this to be a community of kind women. Please let me know how I can help or do you think that blogs like mine are even relevant anymore in the environment we are in.
So with all of that said, I love linen blazers in the summer.
It’s supposed to be close to 100 degrees this week, which means the AC will be on high everywhere. A summer blazer is my favorite piece to look pulled together in the summer, plus keep me warm when I freeze from the air being blasted. I got this blazer in New York several years ago, and it’s still one of my favorites. Paired with a cute top or tee and light washed jeans, it is one of my favorite summer looks. My shoes are old as the hills too! I haven’t been shopping very much and am trying to wear what I have in my closet.
I do believe in putting money into pieces that are classic and stand the test of time like my shoes. So I just bought these as my one pair of good summer shoes. I know I will have them for years and they will pay for themselves with wear. The bag is a copy of the Bottega Veneta bag that has been so popular. It is a great look-a-like bag in vegan leather.

We are helping my mom move her things over here. She will be living with us for the summer until we can help find our tenant who lives in the condo we own another place. My husband is working on that now. I had no idea how much you have to do when someone passes away. I think it’s sad that it can’t be an easier process. Well, I am just a big ray of sunshine today, aren’t I??? I promise that I will be more positive next time!
IN THE MEANTIME…
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Photos: Danielle Sabol
Blazer (similar) // Top // Jeans (similar) // Shoes (similar) // Bag (similar here and here)

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June 8, 2020 @ 8:18 am
Love you beautiful Cathy !!
Made me furious when those gals soo tacky about you! Anyone that knows you- knows how honest, down to earth you are. Give yourself time to cherish your memories of your fabulous Dad and hug your beautiful Mom for all of us! Blessings to all????????
June 8, 2020 @ 8:57 am
A really nice post Cathy and I’m so sorry to hear of your fathers passing. Your style is impeccable and it’s so great to hear from your soul. During these times ugly things will be said and done and you have to dig deep some days to find the good…..but it’s there. ????
Injustice will not prevail and I appreciate you using your platform to speak on a personal level about it. I pray for strength and comfort for you and your family during this heartbreaking time.
June 8, 2020 @ 9:21 am
Cathy – so sorry to hear about your dad passing. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Yes, there is a lot going on in the world right now, but that doesn’t give anyone the right to say hurtful things. Please know that those that follow your blog support you in whatever you do. Good luck with whatever direction life takes you
June 8, 2020 @ 9:23 am
First of all, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your dad. What a horribly sad time for you and your family. Second, I am pleased to see that you have addressed the very critical issues facing our world today – I see them as two pandemics – COVID-19 and racism. I did want to gently correct your interpretation of defunding the police (I am black and my take was the same as yours until researched it). Most are not suggesting that we don’t need the police (the word defunding is not a good choice in my opinion). What advocates are suggesting is that a portion of the police budget be redirected to address the underpinnings of systemic racism and the determinants of healthy communities. For example in LA politicians decided to redirect some money from the LAPD budget to fund employment opportunities for marginalized youth (youth who are gainfully employed are far less likely to commit crimes or to turn to illegal activity to make money).
Cathy, I commend you for taking the time to acknowledge these issues on your blog. I wrote to you a few days ago to let you know how much I like your approachable, creative take on fashion. You are an influencer and your voice holds power. I have unsubscribed from every blog that has not acknowledged this pain and I am happy to continue to follow you.
Most importantly I hope you and your family can find some comfort during a time of great loss. Do take care.
June 8, 2020 @ 9:24 am
I’m so sorry for the loss of your dad and can only imagine how difficult it would be to go through this during this time. I love your perspective on these events, we are all created by God to be who we and to live our lives with love and kindness for all.
June 8, 2020 @ 9:42 am
Thank you for this wonderful post. It’s heartening to see that through your own tragedies you still find the time, and desire, to inspire us. While you may have thought that posting about fashion is a trivial matter during these trying times, believe me when I say that for some of us it’s much needed relief from all the heavy issues pressing down on the country. So please, keep up the good works, and continue to share what’s in your heart and on your mind.
June 8, 2020 @ 9:51 am
Beautiful and heartfelt words, my friend. Leading with love is the only way through this. Big hugs to you and your sweet family. ❤️
June 8, 2020 @ 9:51 am
I am sorry to read of the loss of your father. Your mom is fortunate to have you and your husband assist her with this transition. It probably feels overwhelming right now, but a good probate attorney will help you navigate that area, and the rest are items that your mom can handle a little at a time. Just keep copies of everything and note who you speak with and when. As far as your blog – I think it is always going to be a relevant source of information. Honestly – your brands and style are sometimes a little out of my budget, but the idea around what you put together is good and can usually be found at a different price point. Lastly – don’t let the nasty people win or influence your thoughts or heart. I cringe when I read about a blogger receiving critical or hateful feedback. What is wrong with these people? I wish you and others would just delete and not think another thought about it. There are always going to be differences of opinion, but the method in which those differences are spoken is usually the issue. Please don’t let this keep you from what you do! You and your family take care of yourselves and keep your head up!
June 8, 2020 @ 10:03 am
Cathy, I love your posts and I feel we need them more than ever, so please keep them coming! They are such a much-needed respite from the sadness and heartache in the world right now.
It’s horrible that you were slammed in your recent post, but I think some will always look for the negative. Please don’t let that deter you from speaking from your heart.
I’m so sorry to hear of your Dads passing. I lost my Dad almost 2 months ago, and we can finally have a scheduled service (with many restrictions) in 3 weeks. I pray that you and your family find comfort that he is at peace.
June 8, 2020 @ 10:13 am
I’m so sorry for your loss, it’s hard to lose those we love. I totally understand. I thought your words were spot-on about the protests and police. Thank you. Praying for more acceptance and understanding towards each other. Take care and thanks for your blog.
June 8, 2020 @ 10:38 am
Keep doing what your doing, exactly as you are. I appreciate that you did not over post outfits during the pandemic & yet appreciate you sharing who you are. I am sorry for your loss; I know how it feels as my dad passed away in February. But getting negative comments because of the pic with your black friend…that’s ridiculous! Be who you are!
June 8, 2020 @ 10:57 am
Excellent post! As to the haters… we ALL need to give each other some grace. “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” I’m so sorry for your loss. Praying that your happier memories of your dad will give you comfort.
June 8, 2020 @ 11:00 am
My condolences on the loss of your father and his difficult passing. Your strong faith will carry you through this. I am so impressed with your words on racism, the protests, and what is going on in our country right now. I have a feeling that some of your followers might feel differently, and I pray that your words will open their hearts.
June 8, 2020 @ 11:03 am
First of all, I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. I know even though he was suffering you will miss him terribly and the loss still hurts.
Next, I know fashion and the interest in it seems shallow but your posts are so uplifting and I look forward to them to brighten my day. They distract for a minute from the serious issues we’re facing. You are doing your readers a favor when you post.
Finally, not knowing you personally I will take your word. You certainly express your feelings in a heartfelt manner and all humans are flawed. Sometimes “haters” actually are nursing a deep hurt. Let’s pray that they will find healing.
Again, thanks for your part in helping me cope!
June 8, 2020 @ 11:25 am
Cathy, I am so sorry about the loss of your father. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this sad, difficult time. I enjoy you and your blog so much! Take care of yourself.
June 8, 2020 @ 11:37 am
Cathy, I’m so sorry you’ve lost your father. May happy memories soon crowd out the pain of this huge loss!
I always read your blog even though I rarely comment. Please keep being courageous and speaking truth. A lot of people don’t want to hear it…so much easier to remain blissfully ignorant. You are not alone! I’m trying to educate myself on ways to be more aware and work for change.
Holding you in my heart and prayers!
June 8, 2020 @ 11:40 am
First of all, am so sorry to hear about your dad but what a beautiful thought those friends shared regarding what he experienced vs. what you and your family witnessed. Secondly, thank you for your compassionate and honest take on what is going on in this country. I totally agree with it all and did no rolling of the eyes when I started reading it like I have so many other posts and photos. It came from your heart and I could tell. Now that you’ve put it out there, please feel free to move on and continue with your normal posts. There is no need to keep rehashing it all and anyone who attacks you does not deserve your attention or energy. Thank you Cathy!
June 8, 2020 @ 11:42 am
Cathy, I’ve never posted before but I’ve followed you and read your blog for a couple of years..and I love it. I sent you a DM last week when I learned about your dear father’s passing. I lost my mom to the same disease 15 years ago. It’s so so hard. I don’t think I could have written a message on a post-it , let along a beautiful post like this one. Your strength and grace is amazing.
While fashion and clothes have definitely seemed trivial lately, and aren’t nearly as important as justice and equality, they do matter. I’ll continue to look forward to your posts . I love your style and good and kind heart. I’m sorry those comments hurt you last week..there is so much anger in the world and it’s sad and hard to figure out the right thing to say or do. We will make mistakes but we will keep learning and trying thanks for being so honest
And I love that bag! 🙂 take good care of yourself.
June 8, 2020 @ 11:57 am
I’m so sorry to hear about your dad’s passing. When you’re ready, listen to Dr Tony Evans’ sermon the Sunday after his wife Lois passed away last December. You can hear the emotion in his voice but also the hope. It’s so encouraging! He’s the pastor at Oak Cliff Bible Church in Dallas. I enjoy your blog as a another fifty something. Keep it up and don’t let the turkeys get you down. I’m praying for comfort for you and your family especially your gorgeous mama. She reminds me of my mom:)
June 8, 2020 @ 12:03 pm
Dear Cathy,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss.Sending love nd positive thoughts to you and yours during this awful time of mourning. My father died 16 year ago and I still actively miss him.
Please keep blogging; if it is something you want to do. I love your posts and hearing your news as I am breast cancer survivor myself and I have adult children and I am 56, and finding your blog and being an active reader has been a real joy for me. About the recent criticism you experienced, I am reminded of the Taylor Swift song about “haters are going to hate.” There will always be those people who tear people down instead of building them up, don’t let them win.
I know for me you always give me joy and happiness, honest communication,generous and thoughtful discussion points and its a welcome relief from the rest of the world. Sending a giant hug, be kind to you especially right now. xo
June 8, 2020 @ 12:59 pm
First, I am very sorry about your father’s passing. These are tough, stressful times and losing a parent in the midst of it all must be terrible. My prayers will be with you, and for everyone who is having to say good-bye to a loved one under these strange circumstances. Your words regarding white privilege, racial injustice, and defunding the police are some of the most thoughtful, intelligent words I have read in the last two weeks. As the wife of a retired police commander and an attorney who represented police departments for over thirty years, I know that the vast majority of police officers are good, decent men and women. Their job is difficult under the best of circumstances. I fear for our country and for what we are leaving our children and grandchildren. All I can do is pray for reconciliation, and try each day to give grace and love to every human I encounter.
June 8, 2020 @ 3:13 pm
Oh Cathy so sorry for your lose. I lost my dad on the 29th. It’s still seems like I’ll wake up and it will all be a bad dream.
Everything you posted is exactly how I feel!
Everyone needs to settle down, reflect, heal and go forward with a lesson we all learned this week. Let’s not pull the world down anymore, let’s build each other up!
Again condolences.
June 8, 2020 @ 3:58 pm
So very sorry that you won’t have your dad here any more. My heart goes out to you. I also deeply appreciated your thoughtful words about racism and what is going on out in the world. The world needs more voices like yours. You are an inspiration on many levels and I hope you keep at it. Take care.
June 8, 2020 @ 4:15 pm
I am so sorry to hear about you father’s passing. I lost mine 3 years ago but I miss him every day. Have courage and keep spreading the kindness. That’s exactly what the world needs now.
June 8, 2020 @ 5:20 pm
Posts like this is to refreshing to me. I have read so many posts and blog/newsletter the last few days; only supporting one side. I feel exactly as you do; I have had those exact thoughts for days now. None of us (of any race) gets to choose which race we will be born into. It is solely God that is in control of that. No one should feel (or be made to feel) that they have to apologize to anyone for their race. God made us all of equal value. I might have some different feelings however about white privilege. I am not saying it doesn’t exist; that it hasn’t existed for quite some time. But I do believe that those of us who are alive now are not responsible for what others in the past did. Each of us will stand before God for what we personally have done to others, not for what others have done. I do not believe that any group should hold people now responsible for what was set into motion (any type of white privilege) by others in the past. Those people who set up any type of institutions, education, housing market, opportunities of any kind, etc. etc, etc, that excluded or made it more difficult for blacks to have the same opportunities and the same protections as whites or people of any other race; will be held accountable by God. It is not given unto us (any of us) to hold people now responsible for what others in the past did. If people could actually see how much God loves all of us, and that our race, our skin color, etc. means absolutely nothing; maybe there would be less racism. But not all people are aware of that; and all we can do is try to show others how we believe that we are all of equal value and worth. We should not be taking sides; not a “white side” or a “black side”; because there is already enough division. Taking sides only creates more division. I will not choose a side. As a Christian, I cannot take a side. There are no “white sides” or “black sides” in God’s eyes, and I have to abide by that. Again, thank you for your refreshing post.
June 8, 2020 @ 5:34 pm
https://www.facebook.com/587194607/posts/10157776016554608/?app=fbl
I think you need to watch this. I would send it privately but can’t figure out how. Anyway it’s really good and relevant
June 8, 2020 @ 5:41 pm
Cynthia, I have been thinking of your post all day and I want to clarify. I could not agree with you more that the majority of police officers are good and decent people. They are also the men and women who run toward the danger that we run from. I agree with you that their job is a difficult one. It must pain the good police officers when the bad ones act as they do. But systemic racism does exist. It exists when the system protects the bad cops. It exists when it is difficult for the good cops to report the bad cops. It exists when black men are pulled over at a rate three times higher than white males. I am a black woman and I support the police force where I live. I thank them whenever I can for keeping us safe. Personally I have never encountered a “bad cop” but I know many who have.
I loved the last line of your post. It speaks volumes about who you are.
Black lives matter and I hope that together we can work to make the world a better place. (And now I can go an enjoy my dinner…..I couldn’t settle until I replied to your post. Be well. Cindy
June 8, 2020 @ 6:53 pm
So sorry on your loss. And may I say this was an especially well written, honest post that really seems to have come from your heart. To echo others, haters gonna hate and probably have their own hurt they aren’t willing to work on since it is much easier to tear others down with them rather than build themselves up.
As for your blog and content, I do hope you keep going with it. I actually do think these blogs are very important and even relevant during this time because there are some people (myself) who do need a little distraction here and there. Doesn’t mean I am ignoring what’s going on around me, just means I need to give myself a little mental health break.
June 8, 2020 @ 7:08 pm
Cathy, I’m so sorry about your dad. Thee is no good time to lose a parent, but it does seem like this is just about the worst time.
And thank you for addressing the protests and for sharing your feelings. If we as a nation are to move forward we must have honest and open conversations, and to learn from and with each other. We may not all agree, but as the comments here show, we can find some common ground and go from there.
June 8, 2020 @ 7:33 pm
Betty! Love you too, lady! You know what? I need to not be so sensitive. There is so much hurt right now and I just need to ignore it. Thank you for having my back! I have been looking at some pictures of my dad today of him before he was sick. That is how I want to remember him! I Will hug mom for you! Thank you so much for the sweet comment! xx
June 8, 2020 @ 7:35 pm
Hi, Tamara! Thank you so much for your very sweet words! You were very kind to take the time to write them! Sending hugs! xx
June 8, 2020 @ 9:33 pm
My sympathies. I was with each of my parents when they passed, and if it‘s any comfort your father was aware of your and your family’s presence. Death is the ultimate personal journey – peaceful or not it is made easier with loved ones close by. God bless.
June 8, 2020 @ 9:58 pm
Cathy, such a heartfelt post!! Always love what you write – straight from your heart!! I know you are dealing with so much right now!! So many emotions at once!! Love you sweet friend!! One step at a time!! FROG Debby
June 9, 2020 @ 5:26 am
So sorry about your dad, Cathy. This is one of your best posts- we all need a wake up call. And since we’re talking fashion, I have a white lined blazer that I bought at Brooks Bros years ago and I love it. I even wear it with white linen shorts- goes with anything, really.
June 12, 2020 @ 1:25 am
Most importantly I hope you and your family can find some comfort during a time of great loss. Do take care.Thank you for the information you wrote.
June 12, 2020 @ 5:59 pm
https://youtu.be/Ip3nV6S_fYU
This I really good especially in light your comments about race. I hope you’ll watch
June 21, 2020 @ 2:41 pm
OMG! The camel blazer ideally suits these jeans! You look terrific! I would love to try the same combination.
Best,
FashionCanons
fashioncanons.com
June 28, 2020 @ 2:45 pm
Well, thank you so much! xx